Sorry, my diary

Dear Diary,
sorry my precious diary, i don't know who can i rely on telling something like this.
i told Fikri everything i feel. but it wasn't enough. i finally feel how much this heart hurts. well i'm freakin' tired of it now, and everyday. but i just can't stop loving him for who he is.
but i really want him to accept me for who i am, i know i just have to stick this way but people told me that it is not fair. i recommend him to do relationship with the methods that he and i like, but he refused. what is that supposed to mean? now i'm really really afraid.
i hope he will change soon because i'm willing and trying to change just for him, which i never did to anyone. i am just hoping that he would open his eyes, mind, and heart, to accept me back.
i remember, almost a year ago, the exact 318 days ago when he confess his feelings to me, and then we took a walk in Citos and when i hold his hand, he said he liked it. but now i think he might feel... just... ordinary.
today i hung out with my friends to places that we used to go in junior high. my friends told me that i should have vacation, or maybe just a walk with friends to get over this situation. but i can't. i just can't. my mind is full of him. his pictures are everywhere. in my brain, heart, liver, lungs, intestines, everywhere. he is like the essential thing that make me alive. 
Dear Allah, maybe i'm just an ordinary person, but i love him extraordinarily. please make him mine, or if he's not mine, please make him realize that i love him and adore him. so much. and i hope he feel the same way about me.
sorry for the inconvenient, diary.

sincerely,
his little girl.